Tell me that you love me

a song by james smith.
suddenly gave me the reason to come up here again.
often we seek for somebody to rely on, for someone to love us for who we are.
Tell me that you love me, the way that you used to love me?
you posted a picture with your girlfriend yesterday night, I originally thought that all my feelings are already dead, until yesterday night
I hope you're doing well, I hope you love her the way that she will never go through the heartbreaks that I went through
I thought I was immune
I thought I wasn't this weak

the reason why I kept telling people that I am totally not into dating someone currently is because I am always too rush to love
I always fall in love too quickly, quick enough until I lost all my rationale to evaluate my true feelings and my own thoughts
often need someone to rely on, like how I got myself addicted to the goodnight app
yesterday night there was a 那鲁湾男孩 accompanying me until I fall asleep
grateful for that, grateful for who he is, grateful that it was a really really comfortable conversation last night

learn to spend some time alone, learn to love yourself, grow by yourself
I always tell people there, but I don't think I can even do it by myself.
I love myself for who I am, and no doubt I am always on the way bettering myself
the road isn't short, at all
I need time
and during this time
often I'll think of getting someone to be with me
maybe not dating someone
but having someone

someone that will always talk to me, be there for me
someone that will always have me on his mind (or her)
someone that prioritize me
someone that loves me for who I am
may that someone not be the one that comes in as a partner
may he or she be my best friend that I have not meet yet
maybe I am just asking too much

still find goodnight app really amazing
never thought that I could get addicted to this app
or even the people in there

it's funny how promises can be changed so easily
they are so...vulnarable
it means a lot to one party,
at the same time it's nothing to another
I still remember how many kisses I got from you at the exact same place we celebrated our Valentine's Day
Not to deny, even though I don't love you as who we were anymore
but still those memories are unforgettable
at least to me.

有人问我做过最疯狂的事是什么
我都忘了马六甲途中回来的那件事 哈哈

我很想去旅行 迫不及待想去
我很想要自己一个人瞎晃 乱走
我很大胆 同时也很俗辣
大胆爱一个人的同时也俗辣的不敢告诉人家
是大家的通病吗
还是只有我

相信一听钟情的吗？
好奇怪哦 我怎么可以这么随便依赖上一个陌生人
他一定是觉得我烦死了哈哈哈

if there's a chance for me to become a kid again
will I choose yes?
I never wanted to grow up
but do I want to go back?

to my next one in the very far future:
love me no matter what
okay?

八点五十六分的冰美式

啊现在是五十七分了
好一个大半年没有上来了
是不是应该要真的立志好好的定期上来更新呢
好好经营我的部落格好像对我以后的工作会很有帮助
每次都是空口说白话哈哈哈 不是太忙就是太懒

现在在Technology Park的星巴克
很无助也很没有方向感
思绪有点糜乱 所以什么都不想要想的上来这里乱打乱更新一通

距离上次 好像还没有更新我分手了
而距离分手到现在 家杰也有女朋友了 虽然我不知道是不是 但是都不重要了吧 对我来说不重要了 我也不重要了

对於爱情
我没有太大希望 至少短期之内
但是最近很频密在玩交友软件 我也不知道为了什么
goodnight 真的很让人上瘾欸刚开始的时候
现在就还好了哈哈哈
啊还有
浩竣最近找我聊天哦说要请我吃饭 哈哈哈
可是
我真的没有那个欲望谈恋爱
很认真的再说 啊哈

友情
之前有阵子真的很崩溃
觉得自己真的很不会好好的经营友谊
觉得自己真的很失败搞的朋友都不喜欢我
但是也是最近好很多了
也不想让自己再继续想太多了

最近的学业真的开始让我感觉快要喘不过气
真的感觉到那个压力了
也许是因为要实习了吧
internship is really one hell ride for me, even before I start, lol.
我到底是不是真的清清楚楚的知道我的方向和我想要的东西呢
时间也不多了
我真的是要好好的整理好自己的思绪了
未来不可以在那么迷茫了
我不可以在那么迷茫了

好了
要做作业了
应该说晚安
还是早安呢

九点三十五分
世界你好